For the last several weeks, the country has been embroiled in a huge debate about the role of guns in our society. I’ve written extensively about guns and gun control here, here, and here, so I won’t rehash that today. Instead I’d like to look at some factors which could have had tremendous effect on Adam LanzaSandy Hook shooter but haven’t received any blame. The common denominator in the entire debate has been to blame others and never ourselves.
Divorce. Adam Lanza’s parents divorced in 2009, but no clear reason was given. Regardless of the reason, Lanza was about 19 years old, living at home, and his father no longer lived in the house. Divorce does a lot of damage to kids, even when they’re grown. Not only do kids often blame themselves for divorce, but they also lack the benefit of having a team of parents working together to guide them through life. (Emphasis on together.) They may be two individuals working to help their children, but there is discord and strife and a lack of trust and teamwork, plus one parent lives outside the home where lifestyles and morals often differ greatly from a stable family life. Kids know about these things and it affects them. The divorce occurred in 2009, but there’s no telling how long before that the Lanza marriage had been in decline.
Furthermore, when parents divorce, there is often a lot of guilt on behalf of the parents, and they let their kids get away with things they otherwise wouldn’t. The parents often think that absolution of this guilt or lightening of their child’s burden can be achieved in buying expensive gifts or loosening the rules, neither of which provide any true benefit to the child.
In the entire time after the shooting, I have never heard from anyone that divorce could have been a factor. Nearly everyone has blamed guns, video games, or movies. Those are easy to blame, but how could any of these have any effect if the parents are doing their job as parents? This brings me to my next point. Parenting.
Many parents in America today seem to have this idea that their children deserve iPhones, their own car, cable tv, be entertained however they wish. Many of these allowances come by way of pressure from the kids that “Kaylee’s parents let her” or “Marcus’ parents got one for him” or “everybody else is going.” It’s a tough fight to battle with kids, but the parents need to remember they are in charge. I’ve had several parents ask me if they should set time limits for video games for their kids or if the kids will self-regulate. The problem is in the question. The parents need to understand that they are not only to provide food, water, shelter, and clothing for their children, but they must also be the moral guides for their children. The parent must determine how much time is appropriate and set the limits, fully recognizing that the parent is in charge.
Adam Lanza spent most of his time in his mother’s basement. It is alleged that he spent all his time playing video games, but before his crime, he destroyed his computer hard drive, a subject I’ll address in a minute. What possessed his mother to believe that playing video games (or doing anything else) in the basement 24/7 was healthy behavior for a 22 year old? It is reported that Adam Lanza had some mental and/or psychological problems. If that was the case, it still does not change that 24/7 basement video game lifestyle is healthy.
Now, as for Adam Lanza’s hard drive. It was alleged that he spent all his time in his mother’s basement playing video games. It is also known that he destroyed his computer hard drive before he committed his crimes, which indicates there was something or a lot of somethings on his hard drive which he did not want anyone to find. Statistically, 43% of Americans admits to viewing pornography online. It is not beyond reason to at least question whether pornography had anything to do with Mr. Lanza’s behavior.
In my opinion, pornography is far more destructive than violent video games for the following reasons:
Video games use computer generated characters.
When video game characters are killed, they “respawn” or regenerate either immediately or at the start of a new game. The innocent bystanders killed in Grand Theft Auto are computer generated and their deaths are not lasting, nor are they human beings being murdered.
Pornography is the REAL LIFE exploitation and degradation of a real life human being with a soul, which has been captured on video for the entertainment of others. The “performers” and viewers cannot undo the damage to their souls by restarting the game. The damage is lasting.
Divorce and pornography are the social ills nobody condemns anymore, probably because so many people are or have been party to one or the other. When something bad happens, rather than blaming inanimate objects or strangers with whom one disagrees politically, maybe we should examine what sins actually contributed to the moral disfiguration of the individual instead.